Guilty

This is Fred. He is now dead. Fred was with us for 8 months which in goldfish years surely is like 80. When I first brought Fred home to live in our water fountain everyone rejoiced. There were fights over the feeding schedule. After a few mere days the excitement dwindled to a slight fizzle and before long I was the lone caretaker. Over the course of the past few months I have brought friends home for Fred. Alas, none of them lived past day one. Goldfish are delicate creatures you know, which is what made Fred special. He was of a hardier stock, probably bred in the harsh climate of the midwest. I, alone am responsible for Fred’s death. Saturday afternoon I noticed ants (the peskiest of insects) patroling my back patio. I immediately got out the ant spray and began eliminating the enemy. (Have I ever mentioned how much I HATE ants?) There was a slight breeze and while for a moment  my mind registered the poison floating toward Fred’s home and settling on his water, I was immediately distracted by the sounds of my children UFC fighting in the trampoline.  Sunday morning I went out, fish food in hand, only to discover Fred’s little corpse floating in the contaminated water. I am guilty. Guilty of murder in the first degree. I poisoned Fred. My children showed little interest. Even Analese who I thought surely would be a tad upset just looked at him and said “Ohhh. Poor fishy”, and then proceeded to get back to her Scooby Doo show. What is this world coming to? I still have not removed his body. I am waiting on Jack to take care of that. It’s the least he can do after abandoning poor Fred in life. This illustrates why my family and pets do not mix. I am lethal with a can of bug spray.

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